just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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