O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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