oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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