Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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