you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
