dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
