Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
