Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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