i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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