Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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