i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
