so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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