Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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