Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
