I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
