Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
