I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
