it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
