I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
someone owes me an orgasm
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
