So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
