Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
