i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
