Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
