can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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