Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My ass is underappreciated
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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