absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
