Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
