So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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