Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
