I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
