I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
