so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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