It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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