Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
