the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
