I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Do vagina's smell?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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