i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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