38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Someone shattered a urinal.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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