he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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