There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
