she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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