these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
