just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
