sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
They are going to name an STD after you.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
