Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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