saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Actions speak louder than pants.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
