I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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