He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I love having hate sex.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
