I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
