dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
