I want to stick my p in your. b.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
