dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
