I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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