You're so nebulous sometimes
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
