remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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