I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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