Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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