Porn is love you can see.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize