im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
