Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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