Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Rumble strips road head = magical
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
