I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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