That's intense
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
