It's Friday. Sex?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
