that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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