Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
