i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
