Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
