Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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