You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize