This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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